The newsroom is a pretty crazy place, and journalists are just a little bit loopy sometimes. Here are a few of the more entertaining things I’ve heard in the past month, including a couple of things from yours truly that got “oh-ayched” on Twitter.
“…one white-breasted nuthatch, 12 chickens, 17 bluejays…” (I have no idea what this story was about.)
“It’s a picture of me surrounded by three babes in 1976.” — crotchety reporter
“My face is dark, but my legs were always my best feature anyway.” — One of the “three babes,” looking at the above photo
“He’s the kind of guy who could beat up a unicorn with a sack full of rainbows.”
“I wish I could grow a beard on my nose.” — a coworker with his face half-buried in a scarf, when I pointed out his chin was beard-insulated
“I’m saving journalism! Shut up, Andy Boyle!” — an impersonation of me
During a discussion of the idea that some animals might be smarter than humans:
“Have you ever read Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy?”
“No…”
“There’s a part in which the dolphins leave earth because they know it’s going to be destroyed. They leave a message that says, ‘So long and thanks for all the fish.'”
“…the Miami Dolphins?”
“Hey, Scott, are you doing Playboy?” (Covering the story about Playboy moving its HQ to LA from Chicago.)
Answering a cell phone: “Hello, Chicago Tribune newsroom, home of your husband! If you would like a husband tonight, press one now!” *beep from the other end of the phone* “I think that was a one! I’m on my way now!”
“I think I’m going to have a stomachache from all the hipsterness in this drink.” (After my team went to a snooty coffee place for our afternoon break instead of our regular place.)
“I think you could reassure me about nearly anything with ‘we’ll play with helicopters.'” (My boss got a new drone and issued an open invitation to come play.)