The scenario: When one shakes a zip-top bag, one must make sure that the zip-top is indeed zipped. Otherwise one may send one’s very expensive low-glycemic-index, high-protein, no-really-one-is-a-prediabetic-not-a-hippie granola flying all over the kitchen.
The law: This is especially likely to happen if one has determined to go into work early that day and is already dressed. Also if one has just run out of paper towels ten minutes earlier.
The corollary: In correcting the aftermath of the chaos this law may cause, one may discover a corollary: Dyson vacuum cleaners, when encountering an object too large for their intake, will in fact fling the object at a high velocity in the direction of the law’s victim. This results in the area of the disaster increasing by a factor of two.
The outcome: The law’s subject will inevitably resort to using a Swiffer to sweep the entire tiled area of his apartment, the majority of which will now be covered in granola. As a side effect, several new curse words may be invented and the subject will arrive at work at his normal time, negating any advantage of early rising.